I left
f r a g m e n t s
of myself on his clean and sober couch
clean and sober house not a speck of dirt
your ashtray mouth matched with mine
cigarette smoke billowing by the poolside
push
me down on the diving board
your body weighing on my chest
pool water murky from neglect
I’m out of cash out of breath
out of bounds
out of focus
eyes and blood and piss all clean but goddamn
there’s something about your weight on top of
mine as your tongue fights my taste buds
I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry
I left
p i e c e s
of myself in his
aluminum garage
dirty sheets he
never changed
p i e c e s
in her front seat street curbside
we sat and watched trash trucks
absolve dirt from the city
kicking needles, bottles, pipes, and pain
I learned young
the dead will die
trying
we set torches on my snake skin
exchanged butterflies for cockroaches
away we crawl